Cleavage Filtered Nuts | Junk Food Blog

10 October, 2005

Cleavage Filtered Nuts

Dee's Nuts has the distinction of offering consumers the only "cleavage filtered nuts", apparently enhancing the flavor and enjoyment of millions of peanuts and cashews.

According to the company founders, the saga began when an errant nut flew between the ample cleavage of a female friend. Someone ate the nut, and discovered the hallowed journey had mysteriously made it tastier. Now Dee's Nuts, out of Charleston S.C., cycles every nut they sell between the breasts of a beautiful woman.

So how do the nuts actually get filtered? Well, they have filterers standing in old whiskey barrels. These ladies rub their breasts down with peanut oil. After the nuts are roasted, they are carried from the roaster in beer mugs, to the filterers. The ladies actually pour the nuts between their boobies, thus filtering out the impurities, adding a saltier taste, and enhancing their flavors.

They actually have one of their filterers interviewed on a radio station.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

A video of the process would probably sell more than the product.

b1-66er on 10/14/2005 05:48:00 PM said...

okay, so let's see
we seem to have boobs and nuts
we're just about there

Anonymous said...

News have reached Finland and we now demand these nuts to be imported here too!

Im foreseeing huge markets around the world.

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